What is Stopping You?
What will you do next?
What is stopping you?
"I can't do that because they..."
"If only my parent had/had not... I would be successful/happy now."
"My boss won't let me..."
"I may as well not even start because <insert some external factor>."
It is easy to blame many things for not meeting goals, failures, or not starting in the first place. We have all done it at some point. Our brains serve up this thought pattern as a defense mechanism because it helps shield us from shame, guilt, and taking responsibility for something that might not go well. Our brains believe that shame, guilt, and responsibility for negative things mean we will be shoved out of our group, which equals almost certain death for social creatures in the wild. The downside is that this thinking takes away our power and decision-making ability.
There is another way to intentionally frame our lives that gives us power instead of taking it away. "What responsibility do I have here and what will I choose to do next based on my values?"
This pattern of thinking has had a profound impact on my life. Since it's Friday and we don't want to go into the weekend on a down note, I won't get too into the personal story here, but statistically speaking, nothing in my childhood supports where I have been and where I am now.
I could have easily chosen many paths filled with excuses, giving up, and casting blame on everyone and everything else. It would have been a disaster, and people would have probably made excuses for me by saying things like, "Gosh, she's a mess, but her childhood was so terrible."
Instead, at some point in my 20's, I decided that none of these things would determine where my life went next—adopting the belief that I would respond and choose the next move has allowed me freedom. Freedom to grow, pursue goals, create peace, and make my path.
Each day we wake up, each hour we have, every minute we inhale and exhale, we decide our response, whether or not we do it with intention.
I started this post with, "What is stopping you?" here is a better question.
What will you do next?
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Inspirations for portions of this post are brought to you by The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey. Though I found that book about 15 years after my mindset shifted, it is excellent and puts better words to my approach.